Somethings really do need explanation

Let me recount a phone conversation I had the other day.

“Hello, ____ Vet Hospital, can I help you?”

“Yes. I need to make an appointment for our new kitten.”

“Great! Last name?”


“And the pet’s name?”

“Lord Durin Thunderbolt Orc Slayer.”

“…..  Say again?”

“Lord. Durin. Thunderbolt. Orc. Slayer.”

“Lord? -”

“Durin Thunderbolt Orc Slayer. Tell you what. Let’s keep this simple. Let’s just go with Durin Orc Slayer.”

“Durin Pork Player?”

“No, Orc and Slayer. As in ‘you slay me’.”

“Ooooookaaaaayyy. I’m gonna write this down and if you need to change anything when you come in you just let the person at the front desk know.”

“No probs. We’ll see you Sunday.”

And here he is! Lord Durin Thunderbolt Orc Slayer Carlson! Our new family member!

When we got to the vet the front desk manager and the vet tech giggled and claimed to love his name; calling it “the best name I’ve heard in awhile.” The vet was completely unphased by the name, but right at the end of the visit he asked about it which means that, really, he’d been dying to know for the entire check-up.

Our home has been orc-free for 2 weeks now. He is constantly on patrol for orcs, pouncing on feet that might be orcs at 3am and racing around the house in order to guard the perimeter at all times. He is earning that high-quality kibble!

He joins our sons and our other kitten, the luxurious and succinctly named, Albus.

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