How to get Back on Track after a Shouting Match

I wrote this article for and it was published this week.  I am so, so proud of this piece. It’s not just for parents, though! It’s for anyone who has ever had a disagreement with their spouse, friend, sibling, or co-worker.  The steps here are things I use as an organization development consultant when I go in to help resolve conflicts.

Okay, maybe I don’t have co-workers tell each other “I love you.”  But it is important to find a way to show respect for your  co-worker and their ideas. The concept of Unconditional Positive Regard is universal and there are many ways of conveying it.

I hope you enjoy the article. I would love it if you could leave comments at AFineParent, like it on the site, and share it with your friends.


How to get Back on Track after a Shouting Match

In my house 90% of all arguments start with a “Can I?” followed up with a “No.”

Then CRACK! We’re off to the shouting matches.

Here’s a recent shout-a-thon.

“Can I have a PS4?”


“But why can’t I have a PS4?? Alex has one! And so does Miles!”

“But you are not going to have one. You don’t need one!”

“But they have Star Front Battle Wars! I love that game!”

“I said NO!”

“But I WANT it! And I am GOING to get it!”

“You. Are. Not! Now, you listen to me, young man! There is no way, on this green earth, that I am going to buy you a PS4!!”



Did all that shouting solve anything? Nope.  Am I proud of myself? Not in the slightest.  In fact, as soon as I calm down I feel awful.  I shouted at my child! I’m not even sure why. I must be the worst parent ever!

Sound familiar?

I’ll let you in on a little secret …


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